Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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