I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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