FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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