And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
