You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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