We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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