Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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