U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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