She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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