You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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