I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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