Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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