We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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