I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
