My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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