It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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