let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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