I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
