i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
