I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
