You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
