I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
