Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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