you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
