he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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