Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
