He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.