I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.