I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
