I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
