I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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