Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
