Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just cropdusted the office
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
