Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
