Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
