Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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