when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize