I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
