I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
