Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize