All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
