I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
