take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
