Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We need to get me chipped asap
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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