You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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