if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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