# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
