Taylor Swift is so right about you.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
