Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
