Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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