So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
