We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
