I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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