just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
