Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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