Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
