Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize