im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
