i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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